Meeting My ‘Real Parents’ For The First Time

The Beginning

The beginning was the end of it all and there goes my trust in people that I loved and cared about for so long. As a child I remember going every year to DR on vacation and for a odd reason I always was sent to their house to spend almost my entire vacation. I just never knew why.. It became a tradition and even if I protested declining to go they would still force me to go. Had no clue why though.. I never looked at myself in a mirror and made any comparison of who I looked like. All very confusing and not fun ..

One day in the midst of a deep argument with my mother I confronted her and asked her “If it was true that she isn’t my real mother” Is it true that my aunt and uncle that I went to every vacation that they are my real biological parents? I remember seeing her in her eyes with so much anger and she answered; Yes they are and so what?! Do you want to go live with them? I began to cry had no words coming out of my mouth..

This was the same period I was rebelious around the age of 14/15 years old, I was so angry at myself for not noticing earlier. A cousin of mine she was always jealous and hated me she was the one that actually had told me about this, had me thinking I even told her “It’s not true I don’t believe you” since we had a long history of fighting, hating on eachother and we still do to this day. When she had told me I didn’t think much of it but was always in the back of my mind.

Feeling

It felt WRONG and I felt obligated and not wanting to spend all my vacations in their home. Why does my mother send me here? Is it so she can go out or for me not to get bored since I was the youngest still living at home all my older siblings moved out and has their own life. I was always a loner and didn’t mind being alone and being in my own world. I’m never gonna forget the feeling of how I felt when I found out!

📌📌 PIN FOR LATER 📌📌

What I Wasn’t Gonna Do

What I wasn’t gonna do was keep repeating the cycle of giving up my own children to my biological parents, my mom and dad who raised me or my kids father’s side of the family. What I wasn’t gonna do was keep supressing my emotions for other people. Honestly I never thought I would feel this cringy feeling each time I call them Mom or Dad. I hate calling them that way and not only them also my biological parents. I don’t know if I ever will forgive them..

What I Think

My thought process in this very moment in my late 20’s is this; both parties had to be honest from the very beginning. I don’t care about anyone’s feeling but my own at this point I don’t care about calling both parties. One thing I appreciate is that my parents who raised me tried to give me and my deceased brother a better life. One day I will have the opportunity to express my thoughts and feelings to whoever needs to hear it.

You are reading this .. I have gone through so much unfair situations and after finding out I knew this had to do with it! Not being their biological child made me a punching bag many times at the end all of this made my stronger. One day not far from now…

🌟 Today’s Quote 🌟

“To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.”

— Barbara Johnson

23 thoughts on “Meeting My ‘Real Parents’ For The First Time

  1. Thank you for sharing this story. Wow, I am speechless. That must have been very upsetting / confusing at such a young age & even now. I guess at one time or another both your aunt/uncle and biological parents had their reasons for doing this. although it was clearly not right. I think sometimes people don’t take into account the repercussions or how a child would feel. much love to you!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It makes me feel as if everything was just fake you know. I grew up thinking and believing everything was real. But was it? But the things is both parties NEVER really sat down as grown ups and talked about it and explained why and how. They have to though. I would do this with my kids, they should too. Thank you so much for understanding💜 we all go through things at the end we become stronger xx

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Thanks so much for sharing this personal story! I think the most important thing is for parents to always be honest with their kids. Especially in situations of adoption. Otherwise if you aren’t honest, then it creates so much hate and resentment to a situation that is already hard. I admire you for going through this & having the courage to write about it. You are a much stronger person & your kids have a wonderful role model

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I had to share this story.. blogging is not always about the positive and good side of all stories but I felt it was important to share. Is almost like I have to choose a side which I’m not gonna do. I learned to be honest to my kids and I shall keep doing it. They deserve to know the real world and know that not everything is fairy tales. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Absolutely kids deserve to know the truth about THEIR story. Keeping it from them only harbors resentment and other negative feelings which will ultimately come out. Best to just be open about it all in the beginning to avoid any problems down the road.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I was speechless, you went through so much and became such a strong person. We don’t know each other personally but I’m very proud of you. 💛💛💛💛💛

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Very moving. Thank you, for sharing your story, I know we don’t get to choose our parents. But I always say that forgiveness takes time and it starts with you. Time doesn’t heal all wounds but it does create the space you need to take care of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is correctly said.. at this very moment it takes A LOT of me to even start the process of healing and forgiveness. I rather not think about it at this moment, I have to make sure my kids have me present and be there for them. When the time comes I will deal with it how I should done a long time ago. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate it!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I wasn’t expecting to hear this, what an emotional rollercoaster you have been on, and still continues. Feeling betrayed, lied to, is never easy, no matter what the excuse. I’m sorry you went through this. God bless you and the family you have made for yourself, I hope they are helping your healing.

    Thanks for sharing Catarina, it really reminds me again that your really have no idea what other people are going through. #Kindness 💛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s true you never know what a person goes through. And yes it’s not right but again I’m focused on my children because they need me regardless what I feel and go through. One day I will get through these emotions and be done with it. Thank you so much for commenting and sharing your thoughts🤍

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh gosh Cata, I’m sorry you were lied to growing up and really hope you will be able to forgive both sets of parents. What’s great is that you got to get a better life even though it wasn’t necessarily your choice. I don’t know how it feels, but I’m glad you seem to be healing 💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m pretty much for it just they don’t talk about it, time to time it irritates the heck out of me. When you know you did something that wasn’t necessarily okay you should talk about it and admit what you did. I mean we are all grown ups now, why not? But it’s okay I’ve learned to deal with the situation. Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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