Being a mother, partner, having a full-time job and trying to be all these or trying to be what I need to be everyday is for me at the moment enough. Also I have all these thoughts/ideas and things I wanna do but cannot do them right away because of obvious reasons.
Truly I salute everyone who can do all of these and a bit more everyday.. 365 days a year. My partner (hubby) does more than me which sometimes I don’t even know how he does it, he should receive a award for being an amazing and dedicated partner and father to my kids.
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Don’t get me wrong I’m grateful, blessed to have everything I do somedays are just harder than other days. We are all here to be better, work harder, to give our kids the best life we can as parents or like my mother used to say “to give you a life I never had”.
I learned at the hard way that I cannot control everything, I try, I do my best, I pray and that is the most I CAN do. Somethings are out my hands just completely out of my control. Sometimes internally I won’t or cannot accept it but it’s like I can’t do anything more or less.
If I can could’ve choose a magic or power I think it would be time control and the darn magic wand. Probably sounds stupid..if I just could rewind time and do this all over again but better I sure would!
Stand firm in my decisions, don’t change character and get people out of my life or better I would be the one to get out of people’s life. Life is not easy we learn as we go. I’ve learned many lessons and still am and when you start thinking and start replaying situations, there is when you truly see who those people around you are. Being blind is part of the process until those same people kick you in the butt there is when your eyes open widely.
Everything shapes you to be the person you are today. Sometimes hard lessons pay off dividends. -Al Jourgensen
I know better days are coming, I keep my faith and hope up because I know this isn’t permanent. I hope you do the same x